Getting Back to Journaling

After reading my blogger friend Danwil’s blog a few days ago about the Power of Gratitude I knew it was my time for getting back to journaling. One part that really stood out was the paragraph It’s Not About All Positivity when he spoke about, “Gratitude isn’t about pretending everything is fine when it isn’t.”

Last January I started writing thoughts of my day, I only wanted to write about happy thoughts and leave any sadness or negativity out of my journal. I did that for the entire 2025 year and the more I wrote each night the easier it became. I would sit in my quiet corner in my room, surrounded by Rich’s memories. When I felt a bad day coming on, I would go to the basket and pull one of the notes out to read it. By the end of the year, the basket was full so I stopped writing but I still would pull out a note on occasion.

When grieving the lose of a loved one especially after being together 57 years, the hurt doesn’t magically go away even though it’s been almost 2 1/2 years. Thinking back to when I wrote my nightly thoughts, some brought back memories and turned into happy thoughts. For the past months since I stopped writing I could feel myself going downhill at times. When my friends asked how I’m doing, I would say, I’m okay even if I wasn’t. I was pretending and maybe hoping everything was fine because it still feels like I’m living in a dream. Danwil’s blog made me realize journaling might just be the thing that was holding me together and it was time to get back at it.

Lia had a notebook in her craft drawer she hadn’t used except the first to pages so she gave it to me to use. This was perfect because it had butterflies on the cover.

But when I opened the pages she had used, each one had a butterfly sticker glued to the page. For those who don’t know, every time I go to Cherokee to visit “our spot”, I always see butterflies and when I’m home they are in my gardens. I know they are a sign that Rich is watching over me. So when I saw the butterflies that Lia had put in the notebook even years before Rich passed, to me it was another sign.

I have started my journaling once again and I know there will still be many sad and anxious days but if I can write down three things that I am grateful for, I’m hoping I will see brighter days knowing that Rich is still looking over and guiding me along my new journey.

Thank you Danwil!