Love

Such a big word, for being composed of only four little letters. You could ask everyone in the world their definition of love, what love looks like to them, or how they know when they love a person, and you would get an infinite number of answers – because is there really just one answer?

“I would say love for me is simply the purpose of life; 

 it’s what we need to feel whole.

Love is a very important key to growing in life,

but in order to love someone else you must fully love yourself first.

I know I love my fiancée because she completes me.

She’s my other half. We both feel alone when we aren’t with each other.
We eat together, we sleep together, we laugh and cry together; we simply do everything together.

So how could I not love someone who has become such a key factor in my life?
We have simply grown on each other like a grape vine to a piece of lattice,

and for that I am forever blessed.” -Zachary Wilkins

From a cognitive neuroscientific perspective, one could say it all stems from chemistry. Neurochemicals such as dopamine, oxytocin, norepinephrine, and serotonin, and hormones such as testosterone, estrogen, vasopressin, and cortisol are all mainly responsible for the three-step chemical reaction known as “love” that happens in our brains. The initial phase of this reaction is “lust”, where the testosterone and estrogen levels temporarily rise, for anywhere from a few weeks to a few months, causing increased activity in the brain’s dopamine pathways. “Attraction” happens when these levels have been raised for an extended period of time towards a particular individual, and the brain starts releasing dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin consistently. This can happen for about a year, up to three or four years, and has effects on the brain similar to that of cocaine or amphetamine, hence the saying “love is like a drug”. The final stage of biological love is “attachment”, which unlike the first two, isn’t temporary. Once this stage is reached, oxytocin and vasopressin levels are at their peak, causing someone to form an everlasting love for another person. Obviously, this basis in its entirety can only refer to romantic love, so in regards to family, friends, or other loved ones, the first two stages would be omitted because the attachment is already present due to the bond formed.

The more commonly viewed basis though, is psychological; more specifically, emotional. When most people think of love, they think of how they feel about someone they love, or how someone they love makes them feel. Whether romantic, familial, or any other interpersonal love, it’s usually associated with feelings like happiness, joy, trust, comfort, security, compassion, companionship, and admiration. This can mostly apply to impersonal love as well, which is when a person feels love for an animal, object, activity, or principle, such as how one can love their pet, a sentimental possession, a sport, or life itself. Ancient Greek philosophers categorized love into five forms: romantic love, the love felt towards your significant other; familial love, the love felt towards your family members; friendly love, the love felt towards your closest friends; divine love, the unconditional universal love felt for/from a religious figure or towards humanity/the world/life as a whole; and self-love, the love felt towards yourself, that many believe is necessary before you can properly love someone else. Evolutionary psychologists believe one reason love became so common in humans is because it’s essentially a survival tool. Parental love and support play a big part in the growth and life span of a developing child, especially when compared to other mammals. Human love has also been a major factor in support systems that furthered the development and expansion of society. Due to the diversity of meanings and uses of the word, and the complexity of the emotions involved, it’s difficult to truly define what love is, where or how it first started, or it’s true purpose; all we really know is it’s essential to life. It’s what binds our species, whether it be to individuals in our own lives, or mankind as a whole.

Obviously this isn’t a subject one could attempt to condense entirely into just an article, or even a single book; explanations of love are infinite.. and in my opinion, so is love itself.

 

in•fi•nite (adj.) – limitless or endless in space, extent, or size; impossible to measure or calculate.
synonyms: boundless, unlimited, never-ending, interminable, fathomless

Love to me is just that; boundless, limitless, and never-ending. When you truly love someone, you love all of them – the good, the bad, the indifferent – no matter what, forever, and nothing can change that. It’s having someone you can open up to and be yourself around, be vulnerable with, and most importantly, can trust. Someone who’s compassionate, understanding, supportive, protective, and even at your worst moments, will still appreciate, care for, and be patient with you. Someone who their presence alone automatically makes you happier and more at ease, who once they entered your life, you couldn’t picture it without them, and all you want is to make them as happy as they’ve made you. However, as great as it all may sound, the moments where the love may not feel as evident (whether it be from a fight, distancing, lack of communication, or something else) are just as pertinent, if not more, because how you handle those moments is usually a pretty clear indicator of the love between two people. Once you’ve attained that love, that can endure anything, makes you happier than you’ve ever been, makes you strive to better yourself, and gives you more hope for the future than you’ve ever had – that’s what true love is to me.

“Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,

it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.” -1 Corinthians 13:4-8

This blog was written by my granddaughter, Alexandra – category  Alex Articles in The Martha Review. Check out her other great blog posts here: http://themarthareview.com/category/alex-articles/

Photo credits:   “Basic Emotions–Plutchik”. Personalityresearch.org. Retrieved 1 September 2017.                                                                                                                                                                                                 Ytears: What Is Love? www.ytears.in